Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
