did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The power of my boobs compel you
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
