are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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