I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
