I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
