why didn't you poke me back
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
