But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
