I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
