No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I am mentally ready for anal.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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