I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
