Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
