You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
