And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
