Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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