question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
