He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
