im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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