Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
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