Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
