you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
