there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
