Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
you made out with another girl for some wings
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
