I wish I could teleport
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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