Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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