Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
