between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
