thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
