I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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