So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
