batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
