Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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