If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
