In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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