He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
either way he was missing a nipple.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
