I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
