who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
