Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
this just has baby written all over it
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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