I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
