the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
