'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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