All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
