Me too!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
