i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
