Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
that may or may not have been my penis.
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