If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Say something about gay babies.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
