How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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