sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
