My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
