Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
