stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
