"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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